18 EPISODES OF LITTLE IFY😂😭💕

  

1. So I'm actually one of these people who can come out to say "I have a scar". And truly, "I have a scar guys!!!" 😭So there was this girl I used to call my cousin back then. She had this plan to take my lips, not my life (thank God)... because what do you mean to tell me you carried me on your back without tying me to it and then we start spinning. Funny how we enjoyed the feeling so much, we didn't even realize when I was slipping from her back and next thing is "Gbim". I can say I blacked out because I do not remember nothing else except my stitched lips😭💔So whenever you get to meet Ify, look closely at her lips... She's got a scar there😭😂👍

2. My privacy has to come next after my peace and I think this has been with me since I was little 🙃. So there happened to be this very fateful day I locked myself in the guest room. To do what? I really can't tell, I promise😂. But then just for me to finally leave the room, the key won't just unlock😧💔... 😂 Little ify is someone that takes a pause on everything whenever she's tensed or pressured. So I started off with walking round the room, then to sitting on the bed and I finally went back to the door but I was still trapped in the room... Oh my days😂😂😭 No scream could have been louder at that moment. My dad had no choice than to break the door (thank God it was wooden)😌

3. Stigmatization!! Never will I ever forget the stigma I faced as far back as my primary 4. I had gone to school that morning healthy and sound but on getting down from the school bus, we discovered I had come to school with measles 😭💔 From where??? but if you ask me, na who i go askkkk🎼        First of, that my class teacher gave me a different seat to sit on all through the day in school since I couldn't go back home, what’s more saddening than MY OWN FAMILY (😭💔) also giving me a separate cup, spoon and plate. I just couldn't wait to get my skin back to itself.

4. "No teacher, it's 'lying' not 'lieing'". "Thank you dear"... Being a Nigerian teacher, her next action was "so none of you except Ifiok was reading while writing your note"... The next week forward, my compositions were used to grade that of my primary 5 classmates. So now, clears throat, you shouldn't get pissed when I correct your grammar. I mean, I've been doing this since I was in primary 5... for years now🌝😂🫶

5. Teacher: get out of my class        

    Ify: (inside her) You don't talk to me like that, young man😏 (speaking out now) No sir, I can't.            Teacher: Don't make me repeat myself, leave my class now         

    Ify: (looks at her two friends in class, laughs and goes to stand at the entrance of the class... still laughing though)    

     Teacher: Now go and report yourself to the principal. 

Whatever got into me that morning in class, I still can't tell till now😭😂 but one thing for sure is: DON'T TALK ANYHOW TO IFY 🦦

6. Once, I believed I could fly, like my teacher said to me. So my dad had changed the electronics in the living room, taking the old ones to his daughters' room. Curiosity killed the cat right? This time, the cat didn't die. It almost did 🥲I had figured a "very good" way to watch the new television in my room by taking a side stool right to the front of the television, climbing it and then bending it backwards, making me feel like I was floating in the air. Oh well sighs, on this fateful day, little Ify was wondering what was behind the television. What did she do? She got to the television, mounted the usual and stretched to find out what she was looking for; unknown to her that in the course of the forward stretch, the stool had reached the limit and boom! Cries for some seconds I freaking found myself on the floor with the television right on my body! 😭😭Anyways, long story short, if my dad hadn't appeared to be my saviour that night, I probably would have still been receiving the beating of my life my Nigerian mother was giving me 🤧💔

7. What more joy could you feel getting what you've been pursuing for years? Emerging the overall best student in class (after pursuing that position with the same person since primary 5😭😂). The pain in my opp's eyes and attitude was giving me so much happiness but then unfortunately for me, it lasted for just one session as I came second in class the next session and on getting home with my award, what did my Nigerian mother say to me? "So the person that came first this time around has 10 heads abi? Or the person's head is really bigger than yours that it can assimilate huge amount? " POV: I  have a Nigerian mother and mine is an ever ready one😭😂💕

8. What could be more embarrassing than not just tripping but also falling in a public place? 😭😭😂💔. While putting this down, I had a compilation in my head of me beholding the sight of different people falling. Some of these "clips" 🌝 had people who only tripped but my brain completed the action-falling😭😭😂🫶I'm sorry guys😭🫢... But God actually forbids I fall in public but just in case I do, let's not laugh guys because I will cry😭🤲9. "Mummy, please come and help me beg daddy..."In between my words, my father had already seized my phone. Why? "This phone I got you was to communicate with me and my wife and not to invite anyone to this house!". "I'm sorry sir, please 😔💔... I have a lot of things to meet up with on this phone. Mummy tell daddy naw" But what could she do at that point lol... She only signaled me to get up from my knees and excuse both of them But no😭! my phone still partnered my dad for three days

10. I could always tell the look on people's faces around me outside school. Their eyes be like "who is this girl?"... this mystery girl, you mean 😉" Come, what's your name? I notice you, you just sit and smile at me everytime. What's your name?"... Me still looking and smiling sheepishly " Ify".And now guys, Jerome keeps running from me after discovering the aftermath of meeting the mystery girl😭💕

11. "You should go back home actually" "Be there for your mother" "Don't leave everything for your elder sister, she will get tired soon" "Take your bags and your little sister home"... These were the gentle words people in church , school and even on the street we lived said to me but then that of my aunt came as " Don't let me be the one to find you on this street. (calmly) I bought things for you, okay? So bring your little sister home"... and then she hangs up immediately. I had to hastily call my little sister so we could pack our bags and go meet our reality at home😔💔

12. "So you mean to say you’re not dating these 3 girls" " Tell me the truth, who is the library prefect to you?" " Go and explain both of you to the principal" "I won't tell your dad, are you dating them... Or ifiok on particular" " I know she's the reason you declined the post of the head boy". What on earth didn't this guy hear because of his " tight friendship" with 3 girls in our final year in high school😭😂. Seth is still always going to drag me for walking into the principal's office while in their deepest conversation of wanting to know who we were... "Only God knows how hard I tried not to look at this girl that afternoon"    I'm so sorry Seth 😭😂🫶

13. Not minding that I was wearing a 6 inches stiletto, he still dragged me out of the hall. Why? I know I must have felt the saddest that night for not winning a pageantry. "I never wanted to go for it, Jerome"  "Yes I know and that was why I told you to go for it. I had my reason, don't you think... So don't say that to yourself"My tears were so uncontrollable and that my make up didn't wipe off till I got home still marvels me till now😔😂💔

14. "Wow! You're so beautiful" "guyyyy, this is the prettiest girl I've seen" " can I get your number? " but then this random guy: Hi pretty, how are you doing? 

Ify: (says nothing, looking at him dead in the eye)

R/G: so what's your name? (smiling like a... you know what it is)

Ify: Melissa (let's out a smile now)

R/G: okay Melissa (still smiling like it🙄) So do you mind giving me your number?

 Ify: Oh! I don't have a phone

R/G: what do you mean you don't have a phone, an angel like you (let's out the smile again🤦‍♀️)

Ify: okay then, don't believe (standing akimbo already)

R/G: so Melissa, what if God uses me to get you a new phone? 

Ify: (with the most disgusted look but still let's out a smile... I mean that's me😭😂) Oh... 

R/G: Yes! We could start from a small phone I could be using to reach you   I hadn't been so quick in my life. I made him give me his number, made him watch me type it on my phone, told him it was sister's and finally told him to leave my mother's shop. 

15. "I love you too much to hurt you" "don't let my girlfriend see you" " I don't want you being friends or talking to her" "you can come see me before going to school" "NO!" ...  Words I kept on hearing for a pretty long time, but then, what more joy could you feel getting what you've been pursuing for so long? LoL, a phase I hope I get over sooner than expected 

16. So as early as few minutes to 6am, this little Ify girl😂😭 picked her mother's phone for the next conversation:Ify: hello

Recipient: (silence)

Ify: ummm, please when its 8am, I need you to follow me somewhere. I have a shoot. 

R: okay Now to my mother, convincing her that my friend would be escorting me to my intended destination, she also used everything in her to discourage me from going but I was only being Little Ify😭💔. Finally got to where my destination was and guess what 🫢?the rest is history😭👍Children, children obey your parents today😭🫶

17. "You eat like an elephant"... like y'all knew how much food I wasted while I was younger😭🫢. My dad would always pay my teachers to watch me eat my food up to the Last. While some did it peacefully and encouragingly, others folded under their desk and the rest would make me sit in front of the class, feeling uncomfortable, eat my food so quickly and move back to my actual seat. So my eating like an elephant now is more like a replacement for the food I must have missed some years back🦦🫶

18. When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother "What will I be?"  "Will I be pretty?" "Will I be rich?" Here's what she said to me, " Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future your eyes will see, que sera sera. What will be, will be.(Happy birthday to me)🥹🎂💕