The Journey Of Motherhood

 



“Omo ti o ba da to baba re ni, eyi to oda to iya re ni” which translates to “The child that is good is for the father, the child that is not good is for the mother” in English language, is a saying that would never sit well in my ears. In better words, it is a saying that is so condescending to one’s hearing. This gender role and war has been up for a long time and the earlier we get to see and understand that the society can be no better without JOINT EFFORT, the better for us all.

Fortunately, I grew up in a home where roles were not assigned to the husband or the wife, and you know what this did to me? It mounded me to who I am right now and the woman/mother I will be. I watched my dad prepare my sisters and I for school and I watched my mum settle some bills in the home. My parents were so heavy on instilling in us the habit of giving a helping hand whenever and wherever you can. They did not just preach this to us but also practiced it between one another so having to hear that the fault of a child’s bad behavior is of the mother is questionable because… Why??? Let’s take a look at this with me:

THE JOURNEY OF MOTHERHOOD.

l  As early as age 13-15years, a girl is expected to have started seeing her periods as this is the main criterion for any female to be a mother.

l  She has to go through this monthly periods that threatens the life of some for about 30-35 years of her life (this is enough stress already for God’s sake).

l  She has to go for check ups from time to time to ensure her ovaries and eggs and the lines are intact and with not even the slightest damage done to either of them (deep down, one of every woman’s biggest fear is the inability to become a mother and a damage to any of her organs could be a factor to that fear becoming a reality).

l  Fast forward to her twenties when she has to settle down as time is no longer on her side(she has to find a suitable man she can bear children with because honestly, one of the biggest mistake you could make as a woman is bearing children for the wrong man. It does a lot of damage to you and more damage to the children).

l  Finally married and has conceived and the fear of miscarriage sits in her mind all days of her pregnancy but she stays Optimus all through. The insane changes that comes with pregnancy creeps in also and she has no other option than to accept these changes and love herself still.

l  She successfully goes through the 9 months journey and is left to fight for her life and her baby’s in the labor room. Some stay up to a week or even more due to complications (most especially for the first time pregnancy, that thought of giving up definitely creeps in but she has to dismiss the thought to avoid being called ‘a lazy girl’)

l  Delivering her baby and dealing with post partum (this is when she is on her period for a month or two straight up… mind you, it could take longer most especially if she has to go through caesarean operation). While going through this process all alone, she sets her own life aside and has to focus on the baby’s for minimum of a year (like isn’t this enough stress to have the guts to apportion blames later?)

l  She nurses her baby for a year and is about to continue her own life when she realizes the drastic change she had to go through and the adaptation she also had to develop to these changes

Mind you, she went through this journey of almost 2 years alone. The father must have been there, of course, to give emotional and financial support, which was the best he could do… because he had to keep working for the family (and then there happens to be cases where the man was just never there all through this journey. Is he still expected to come out to say “omo ti o ba da ti baba re ni, eyi ti oda ti iya re ni”??

And so it goes on this way that the mother has to be the only one looking after the children, not minding that she also has her own life to continue. The sacrifices, love, compassion and affection a mother bestows on her children is already enough ground for a father to also play his path in shaping his child’s life and not to put the blame on the mother when a child has bad but take the praise when the child turns out good.

 

So, apparently, the journey of motherhood begins at as early as you start seeing your periods…Wow!

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM

    🙏.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aj❤️March 31, 2025 at 6:51 AM

    👏🏽👏🏽Brilliant thought

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 2, 2025 at 2:28 AM

    “Here’s my take on a saying that’s always rubbed me the wrong way. Motherhood is a marathon of sacrifice and strength, yet society often pins a child’s flaws on moms while dads get the glory. I grew up seeing my parents share the load, and it taught me that raising a child takes both. Why do we still cling to outdated ideas like this? Thoughts welcome!”

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousApril 11, 2025 at 7:04 AM

    Nice

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousApril 11, 2025 at 12:12 PM

    👏👏

    ReplyDelete

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