Beyond the surface

 

Only if Apostle Femi Lazarus had used another case study, he would have passed his message on peace without misconceptions and misunderstandings from viewers and listeners. Terming the mood swings that come with periods as being demonic is something really demonic itself. Let me make this clearer… (this is a going to be a personal post and I’d love to see personal comments in the comment section as well).

Till I turned 19, I never fully understood what period cramps meant or what they really felt like; and growing up with mostly females around me, I used to be the ONLY joyous person when I was on my period… everyone else would always wriggle in pain, in tears and most times could not even function, including my younger sister who has no access to the internet or social media, so are we to call her demonic for being overstimulated due to the pain that comes with period???

Personally, I feel one should not have a say pertaining anything at all if you do not have the experience. Once or twice, you should have come across videos online of men using period cramps stimulator just to know what it feels like, and their reactions?? They’re always something else. Now imagine going through such excruciating pains all day for 4-5/6/7 days and you still have to go about your day like you’re fine, you still have to attend to humans who are always there to frustrate you, of course and to crown it all, you have to be alert so as to not get stained because asides the public embarrassment for some people, cleaning up the mess is a whole lot of work, for me. 

Now let me explain what this pain feels like…

 “Sometimes it feels like a chain saw cutting through the skin. Sometimes it is a dull ache that sits in the belly like betrayal.

Like I'll always say, Menstruation is the weeping of a disappointed uterus, mourning the baby that did not come that month. 

 

The womb contracts. The blood flows. And the pain becomes the language of the body’s grief.

 

Sometimes this pain is not just monthly sadness. Sometimes it is endometriosis. Sometimes fibroids. Sometimes adenomyosis. Invisible wars fought by women whose smiles do not tell their stories.

 

And yes, this conversation must not be left for women alone. It should be whispered in classrooms and spoken loudly in clinics, so that boys grow into men who do not flinch when women say pain. 

 

SO THAT UNDERSTANDING CAN STAND BESIDE EMPATHY”

 

This was where Femi Lazarus should have pin pointed to avoid such misunderstanding he brought upon his sermon and should have rather buttressed on: 

 

“Because pain changes things, it dulls joy, sharpens tempers, and sometimes makes silence safer than speech. Hormones rise and fall like tides, pulling emotions with them, and sometimes a woman needs space.

 

But, my dear, pain, no matter how deep is never a license for cruelty. Menstrual pain does not justify meanness. It doesn't equate bad behaviour. 

It does not excuse unkindness. It should not strip us of grace.

 

I have seen women curled up on hospital beds, trembling, sweating, whispering prayers between spasms. I have held their hands and watched their tears fall not only from pain but from exhaustion.

And when I say your pain is valid, I say it with the weight of their tears and the echo of their sighs.

 

Yet even in pain, I have seen dignity. I have seen women choose restraint when rage would be easier. I have seen them call in sick from work rather than lash out in anger. They know pain, but they also know grace.

 

So when someone says, 'Menstrual pain is not an excuse for bad behaviour', perhaps they are not denying your pain, perhaps they are pleading for balance.

 

And balance, my dear, is everything. Because there is help.

Real, medical help. A gynecologist can listen. A scan can reveal what eyes cannot see.

A laparoscopy can uncover what silence has hidden.

 

There are treatments. There is relief. There is hope.

 

So, dear, continue to speak. Speak about pain, and about the women who endure it.

Speak about wombs that bleed and hearts that keep loving anyway. But speak with grace.

Let truth be firm, and spirit gentle.

 

Because women’s pain is best understood by women, but women’s dignity must be defended by us all”

 

I was busy prepping for this piece when I bumped into a fellow writer’s piece in person of Dr. Ose Etiobhio, and it gave me exactly what I envisioned to put out here. Every word you see in quotation marks and bold are credited to him which is really surprising because I read that piece over 4 times in the voice of a female. And with all of that said, I’d love to encourage you to look at both sides of whatever take you have before putting it out here, or better still, keep quiet about it if it is a very sensitive topic. 

More love to every woman going through period cramps. You are strong and you are seen🎀

 

Copyright: Dr. Ose Etiobhio 

@osemagnum on X